drunken, serial killing, cab thief

Sunday night I played saxophone on a jazzy gig that was a stone's throw from my apartment. I walked the mile or so to the gig, attempting to shrink my carbon footprint (don't tell anyone that my footprint went clown-sized by flying to Chicago a day later).

The gig got done about 12:30 AM, and I wasn't pleased about the prospect of walking home that late with my saxophone. I hailed a cab after a few quick minutes. When I got in the taxi's meter was at $30. This was my first indication that something strange was afoot.

The driver, a youngish dude, was chummy. After exchanging pleasantries I asked, "aren't you going to reset the meter?" To which he replied "oh yeah!" because it had apparently slipped his mind. He hit the button on top, which turned the meter to "off".

This is where I calculated that there were three possible reasons:

1. He was a serial killer and wanted to turn me into house slippers.

2. He was high/drunk out of his mind.

3. He had stolen the cab and didn't know how to work the meter except to hit the button on top.

Of course it's also possible he was a drunken, serial killing, cab thief. In fact, I think that's the most likely outcome.

The rest of the two minute ride climaxed with him zooming upwards of 50 MPH in the right lane to pass a bus. Fortunately, we didn't die in a fiery crash and the ride was over after our near Back-to-the-Future-level venture into the non-passing lane.

We screeched to a halt, and I said "how much do I owe you?"

"Whatever you think is fair." I calculated that I was leaving with my life in tact, and not as a pair of house slippers and decided that five bucks was a fair fare.

Tonight I play Uncommon Ground in Chicago.

Tomorrow I play Mick's in Omaha.

Zoom!