Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Highway Bootleg

I like it when I use the wrong "to" in blogs, like I did at the end of the last one. Westside High School is beeping in right now and they're calling two ask for my diploma back. Zing!

I've re-discovered an old demon from my past: TV without TiVo. I've been known to surf channels in my early years. Hotel rooms don't come with a DVR, therefore I've been hanging ten on the 40 or so channels that are offered. Not good times. The past few nights I've been letting the TV lullaby me to sleep, and keep getting sucked in before I can count the sheep. "Just one more lap through the channels while I'm waiting out this last commercial break on Law and Order: Special Reruns Unit," has been my nightly refrain.

Speaking of old demons, I'm reaching that point where I'm tempted to buy new underwear and socks to postpone laundry for a few more days. A midnight run to the evil of Walmart for boxer/brief/shorts was a semi-annual occurrence in college. There's a mall connected to this hotel, which is a slightly-wicked and welcome convenience. When you're on a tour like this you get paid a cash per diem to cover food. Two out of three meals a day are already covered by catering on gig days. The mall is the surest way to have that per diem fly out of your pocket. I smell an Orange Julius in my future.

I almost forgot to tell ye, my new album is being mixed! I've enlisted the formidable talents of Mark Dearnley to mix it. Mark worked on "The Story So Far" with Don Gehman, and perhaps more importantly mixed one of my all time favorite albums, The English Beat "I Just Can't Stop it". I'm planning on it being done and ready for purchase by September. Don't be scared.

The tour is going swimmingly. We've started writing new songs on the long night bus rides. If you pull up next to us on the freeway make sure to hold your mini disc out the window so you can be the first on your block to have the bootleg.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Cedar Kinda Rapid

Few things seem to move quickly in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Last night I stole a bowl of raisin bran from our tour bus. To do this I had to leave my hotel room and venture into Saturday night in Iowa. The stoplights were flashing yellow or red. This immediately transported me to Summers of '95 and '96 in Omaha, when I was old enough to drive, and old enough to stay out until after the stoplights called it quits. Those were the days... That's not exactly true. Maybe they weren't "the" days, but there were definitely "days" nonetheless. I would, however, like to play some sand volleyball next door to the Rockbrook swimming pool again.

This is what happens when you have two days off in Iowa. Nostalgia sets in.

I've spent the last two days hibernating in the Five Seasons Hotel (apparently, the fifth season is the only thing that happens quickly in Cedar Rapids, it's so fast that you probably don't even know it exists). I turned my room on the concierge level into a recording studio yesterday, and put to use a new friend whom I'll introduce you to at the end of this weblog. So far as I can tell the benefits of staying on the concierge level are thus: it smells like cologne, to the degree that you would think the "H" and "C" on the faucet stand for Helmut Lang and Kenneth Cole. Secondly, you have to insert your key to access the floor. Which is a problem because, now that I think of it, the thing that REALLY moves quickly in Cedar Rapids are the elevator doors. It reminds of Muhammad Ali saying "I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark." He must've programmed these elevators, because those doors are steel lightning.

The other interesting/inane thing I learned in the guillotine-speed elevators of the Five Seasons is they have a very special menu which advertises that they serve (apologies to Jay Leno for stealing his bit) "Double Lamp Chops"!! Yum! I like the fluorescent bulb lamp chops because they stay bright in your stomach twice as long.

Nostalgia manifested itself in an unexpected way in Iowa. I've been known to rummage through pawn shops whenever the opportunity arises. In Wisconsin a few years back I found a Wurlitzer 200 A electric piano that I've seen used on albums, a movie, and abused on the road. This weekend I made my second great pawn shop find.

I need a second acoustic guitar in case I break a string on stage during a solo show, and also so I can have a broader palette to record with. I was looking for a parlor guitar, or even a beginner/tiny-size acoustic with steel strings, because those can sound really cool on a recording session (plus you look like you're playing a Hobbit's guitar). I found a $50 beginner acoustic in Siegel's pawn shop. The brand was "Lauren", or maybe the previous owner just decided to scrawl her name on the headstock for kicks. I was ready to rock out the door with it, when one of the Drake Bell band dudes told me there was an old Dobro guitar on consignment in the other room. A Dobro is one of those guitars that has an aluminum resonator-thingy in it, and is often used with a slide. As you can tell, I'm an expert. The Dobro they had was from the late 1930's, and it played like a dream. I put a bid on that sucker, and after a long night of nail-biting, and a few minutes of counter-offering the next day, I now own an 80 year-old guitar! Old Faithful, as I'm tentatively naming it, has already been put to work in the studio, and given birth to a new song. The old dog is teaching me new tricks.

Lobby call is in 45 minutes. Time to wrap 'er up.

Till next time...

Don't move to fast, unless you're getting on an elevator.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Big Willie

It's officially a tour! I know this because I have a sore throat. Hot tea, here I come.

I'm in the groove and enjoying it. We stayed in a hotel where each floor had a different theme. I was on the floor of champions. A Rocky impersonator said, "yo! This is the 10th floor." To which I would reply, "Adriaaaanne!" That'll break the ice, I tell ya.

Highlight of the tour thus far: we took a rest at a truck stop in New Mexico. A nice southern gentleman asked which tour we were with, to which I uneasily replied "Drake Bell." I was expecting an awkward or uncomfortable encounter to follow, but he said "we're with Willie." As an aside, you know you are a baller if you can be referred to be a first name, one as common as William, and nine out of ten people know exactly who you're talking about. No, not Willie Smith, not Willie Cosby, or Willie Clinton. Twas Willie Nelson. After the band stopped crapping their pants at the possibility of meeting a living legend, we calmly asked for an awkward/uncomfortable introduction and got our wish. He was very cordial and gracious and shook each of our hands (on his bus at 11:30 at night!). We also got an invite to his golf course in Austin. I smell a hole in seven in my future.

Speaking of smells... Steven is the bass player for Drake on the tour. His bag, like the rest of ours, was stored in the bottom of the bus. His bag, unfortunately, had an awkward/uncomfortable encounter with the (if you're squeamish, stop reading now!) urine of seven to eight men. The toilet on the bus sprung a leak right on to poor Steven's suitcase. Not, not, not, NOT fun times! There's no real happy ending to a story that starts with gallons of pee on your clothes. So let's just move on...

I spent yesterday's day off making a new track on my road recording rig. There were many vocal harmonies, and many layers of analog synth.

I also sorted through all the audio from my gig at Zoey's on June 8th and will be putting one of three different tracks on the myspace in the not-too-distant future.

More bus tales: we were parked across the street from the hotel. I was disembarking from our home on the road, and a middle-aged local said "are you celebrities?" First of all, it was just me, and although I've been known to be moody, at best I could only hope to be one celebrity, not many celebrities. Point being, if you have to ask that question, the answer is invariably no.

After many, many moons of having a stale website (a smell worse than multi-men-pee) I've come up with a new concept for ZackHexum.com. I'm sending out emails to a few different web designers to see how many limbs I'll have to mortgage. It's most likely a few months away, but sooner than later, we'll have a new website to romp through.

See you soon...

Friday, July 6, 2007

Head and Luggage in the Clouds

As Nirvana once said "I'm on a plane". We're flying to Michigan for the first gig on the Drake Bell tour. Things have been as busy as I can remember these last few weeks. I've finished up the score for Happy Holidays by day and fought crime rehearsed with Drake's band by night.

All together there are 17 cues for Happy Holiday. I enlisted my former bandmate Bill Campbell to play drums and cymbals via the internets. He did a bang-up job. At this point I'm salivating over what it'll be like to see a movie with my music providing the aural landscape and my name in the credits.

I've shaved a few hundred emails out of the inbox, and sadly we're starting our descent in ten minutes. I'm considering telling the pilot I left my oven on and we need to go back to LA, just so I can have more time to really get stuff done.

The good news is, I'll be traveling like it's going out of style, so I'll have lots of time to write words and music. I've brought my mini-recording studio with me. I'm hoping I remembered to pack the muse in my bag (she has to weigh 3 oz or less and fit in a zip lock bag if you're going carry her on).

My Independence Day resolution is to deliver the blogs to ya.

I've brought with me the audio files from my last gig at Zoey's Cafe in Ventura and I'm planning on posting at least one song on the myspace for free download.

Till next time...